How depressing. They’re bringing out a box-set collection of Cagney & Lacey TV movies. That’s not the depressing part in itself – there was lots to love about that show; they dealt with issues that other shows at the time hadn’t dared touch. The acting was great, if a little shouty. And it was wonderful to see two non-twiglet stars with their own original lips in the central roles, running and shooting and catching bad guys all over Manhattan. What’s not to like? Well, here comes the depressing bit: concentrate.
They’ve decided to call this new collection Cagney & Lacey – The Menopause Years. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a title more. You can be sure it was thought up by some young-gun boy producer who thinks it’s hilarious. But – while it may be true (they did deal with it on the show) – it’s just not right, even if the ladies themselves gave it the thumbs-up (and maybe they have).
I hate the word menopause. It’s horrible. It has a big pause built in right at the end when you’re listening the most. The beginning just sounds mean, or like men - like you’re stopping men, giving up men, and they didn’t. They didn’t stop dating them, being married to them or putting them in prison while sipping coffee from styrofoam cups.
I’m sure there’ll be some nonsense argument about how the title is affectionate, and there to highlight how even women hot-flushing like there’s no tomorrow can be sassy and functional and cool. Well, they’ll be slightly sweaty til the flushes pass. But surely the whole point of Cagney & Lacey was that – flushes aside – they just were cool? Flawed, addicted, not-boring-to-be-around, great cops? How insulting to box ‘em up with a title that, no matter what anyone says, makes you think of a loss of power. They will never lose power. Not while they have kick-ass walking shoes. And guns.
Of course this touches a nerve with me because I’m closer to the HRT bit of my life than I am to the HYT*; I’m aware that I’m being defensive (and I’m not even hormonal…look out, fiancé, those years with me will be fun!). I just hate that menopause is – rightly or wrongly – suggestive of loss of bloom and acquisition of broom. For instance, how many younger guys will rush out and buy that Menopause Years box-set? It makes it sound like you should buy it at the chemists, or off the top-shelf of a really dodgy specialist shop in Amsterdam.
This smacks of that most common of back-handed compliments, that someone looks very good “for their age”. Good, but no Mischa Barton. Well, Mischa Barton gets shows cancelled after just 2 episodes (The Beautiful Life, gone, RIP, oh dear). Cagney & Lacey ran and ran. What about Cagney & Lacey – The Years When Women on TV Had to Be Able to Act and You Had to Believe They Could Use Guns and Know the Law and Everything?
OK. Maybe that’s a little long.
(* HYT = Hip Young Things, oldsters.)
Running the NYC marathon, treading in Cagney & Lacey’s footsteps, on Nov 1. Sponsor me here if you like.
