I have a husband now. I also have my health, great friends and even a hilarious cocker spaniel. If this were the 50s, I would wish for nothing further than a functioning oven. But it’s not and I’m not sure how functional my oven is because I usually just use the grill.
I want more. More! I am greedy like that. Here are some of the things I simply won’t rest until I have:
To record a Jean-Jacques Goldmann song and become highly celebrated in France. Yes, he’s written for Celine Dion but never mind that. Even if you’re not a fan of the rest of his stuff, there’s a song called La Vie par Procuration which sums up mundanity and loneliness really beautifully. It’s almost as if he’s been an isolated woman. And maybe he has: I don’t know a lot about him apart from the fact that I was given my first J-JG album on cassette in 1985. He’s probably done a lot since.
To do the same in Italy, but with Eros Ramazzotti. I adore Italy and having spent months of my teens in France, I have a huge soft-spot for Europop. It makes me feel sunny and happy and hopeful. Plus a lot of it happens in Rome. Heaven. What could possibly go wrong to the soundtrack of a trashy synth or Italian lyrics? Nothing, my friend. Absolutely nothing.
To lose my fear of heights so I can go skiing without losing all my bodily fluids to fear.
To do more voice work. I miss it. I’m good at it. Not many people are aware that “shaving half a second off” is a skill. But I can do that, and not even in my own accent.
To have a great time at the Edinburgh Fringe. Already, this year’s lead-up has been the most enjoyable ever. I’m really looking forward to a month of doing my own songs, even if that happens to be to 3 people. (You know who you are.) I have a great team in place and can’t wait to get my teeth into it. I just have to finish the songs, now. Small task. Exciting.
To write more columns. I used to do that, too, as well as book and TV reviews and the like. This “not being a (terribly minor) celebrity” thing really does suck when it comes to that sort of work.
To run a marathon. Oh, I did that. This must be from last year’s list.
To be in Star Trek: The Next Generation. I realise I’m too late, but it’s my fantasy. I’d do it even if I had to be in the really racist episode where the Brionglóidí (Dreams) were essentially leprechauns, distilling poitín in the hold and talking all Oirish. I can talk all Oirish, to be sure, to be sure.
To get more of an audience for the London Comedy Improv. We deserve it.
Holiday homes in the sun? Pots o’ cash? An Oscar. YES, I want those too, but so do you and I wanted these wishes to be my personal, unreasonable greed. Add in decent vegan food at airports and I’m pretty much the king of the world. Which, in a way, brings us back to Celin Dion. So, I should stop.
