For the last few months, I’ve been being fobbed off by someone that I’m supposed to be working with. I don’t deal with that sort of thing well. I spend the initial bit being really polite and making excuses for the fact that they’re busy and under stress and that, by giving them space, they’ll appreciate it so much that they’ll give their time even more generously when they do turn their attention back to me. This is a false assumption. In reality, what happens is that they assume I’m a pushover who won’t hassle them if they don’t do what they’ve said. This is also a false assumption. And this is where it gets messy.
I’ve reached the end of my tether with this situation; there are only so many fob-offs, so many postoned meetings and so many unresponded to emails I can handle before going off on one. I’m tired of hearing how stressed/ under pressure/ busy they are – I’m not busy: there is little more stressful than that. I’ve blogged about my Dad’s condition: that has taken a steep decline, even since I last wrote about it. There’s a possibility he may be taken to hospital by ambulance today. Let me put it this way: I am not without the odd bit of stress of my own.
Coming after months of politeness and beyond – even into stupidity (who else follows up on 2 ignored emails and several unreturned calls with blame-free, as if the first time issues were being addressed, new ones?) – this then gets received as a shock. When I then get firm and use carefully chosen phrases like “I don’t appreciate this” or “I feel it’s important that”, with, I admit, the force of months of not being taken seriously behind it, I usually get told that “(you)’ve changed” or “I don’t understand where this outburst is coming from”. I don’t swear and I never apportion blame: I did that once and although I was right, it felt awful. That isn’t just because I think those things are wrong – not a bit of it – it’s because it throws the power balance to the other side. Suddenly, you’re on the moral low ground, and it’s very difficult to climb out of that to get anything done.
Getting things done is all I want. I have a ton of ideas and tons of drive to help to get them done and I can’t have my time sucked away by someone who’s giving every indication that they’re not interested. Yet when I ask, they say they are. Well actions speak louder, and all that. It’s time for some action.
Don’t make me angry: you wouldn’t like me when I’m pushed into forcefully polite, venom-filled statements.
