I’m a terrible spectator. I don’t like watching sports and not doing them. So while the one time I’ve skiied was exciting, terrifying and expensive, the idea of watching it on TV is just dull. I love ice skating (badly) and I’ve even taken some lessons (still badly), but looking at other people doing it doesn’t make sense. If I’m not at the winter Olympics, then I can’t say I care.
Besides, so many winter sports are rich people’s leisure pursuits, it’s like watching an episode of Dynasty without the never-onscreen sex and always-onscreen earrings: useless. I want to watch endeavours that can’t be performed at holiday resorts under the influence of a hangover. I’m willing to bet that none of the royal family has ever indulged in a spot of pole-vaulting at Klosters. How many millionaires head up Whistler for a spot of parallel bar action? Very, very few. That’s my point.
Watching it’s bad enough, but having people Tweet every dull curling result is making me a crazy person. That’s not an athlete, that’s an accomplished janitor.
Now, can we all get on with waiting for the real Olympics? I just can’t wait to see how London does in its events. By the looks of it, I don’t think training’s been going very well.
