Overall, it’s been a wonderful week. Oh, I’m still sick and spluttering and it’s gone to my chest and I haven’t had paid work in weeks and the fiancé is away in Mumbai with Bollywood heads, leaving me all alone and not allowed to watch House without him, but it’s still been great because I’m not dead. Poor Brittany Murphy is dead at 32 and I’m not. Sometimes you have to be that blunt with yourself to stop yourself from being a moany old cock.
Since her death, despite the fact that the official coroner’s report points to “natural causes”, the rumour mill has gleefully gone into overdrive: “Drugs? Was it drugs?”screeched the internet. It’s such a lazy conclusion to jump to. It’s certainly the one my Dad used to employ whenever anyone did anything he considered a bit odd. He’d glower and say that one word, “Drugs“. If he were still compos mentis, I’m sure he’d have muttered it in disgust at his beloved Tiger in recent weeks: there’s no way anyone who could drive and putt like that could behave so badly unless they were on DRUGS. But the truth is that when someone like Brittany Murphy, someone young and beautiful and successful dies from cardiac arrest, it’s a likely potential conclusion. Bloody internet rumours: I hate it when my Dad is right. Hopefully, he’s not.
The other rumour (although it’s still, at its root, DRUGS) is that she died from being too thin. It’s bewildering when the internet turns coroner. Long before the conclusive post-mortem results emerge, I’m sure someone will have posited a theory that she was killed as a result of becoming blonde. “She was a natural brunette, you know! It can’t have done her any good. All those split ends would drive anyone to drink. Or DRUGS.”
As news of her sudden, tragic death became a trending topic on Twitter, I clicked on some of the tributes and farewells. There were some touching words from people of all ages – mainly the very young, who’d grown up with her in their sights (to me, she’s still new, which makes her passing all the more shocking). One Tweet in particular caught my eye. In 140 characters, a young American bloke managed to pay tribute and still have space to mourn, “2 many people have died in 2009.”
He does know that, in historic terms, 2009′s death-rate is probably about average, right? People die every year. Millions of ‘em. Every day. Or maybe he doesn’t know that. If it doesn’t happen on the internet, if events aren’t at the top of the trending topics on Twitter, they may as well not have happened. What he means is that too many people he’s heard of have died in 2009 and too many people have had to Tweet sad things instead of inane ones. Either way, he was genuinely sad. I wanted to give him a cuddle, but I don’t know how to do them on the internet and that’s where he lives.
Thanks, Brittany. You were the first famous person with that name and you spelled it right. Loved Clueless, didn’t love 8 Mile, but I thought LuAnn in King of the Hill was astonishing. And you’ve made me feel very lucky just to be here. RIP.
