Last night at Laughing Boy was fun. A very polite, quiet room which warmed up considerably as the night went on. I was just doing ten minutes – which I’m not very good at, me and my rambly, storified ways – and although I wished I’d packed in more joke-jokes, I had a lovely time. It’s not the greatest ego-boost ever when stuff that normally goes well just gets titters, but that’s my problem, not the audience’s. They were lovely and laid-back and smiley…I knew they were smiling because I could see their expensive Islington dentistry glinting in the half-light. Lovely.
Really want to do more and next time lift those lovely, shiny coolers out of their seats. I spent the morning tweaking things (Mrs) and working on new bits (Sir). Progress.
Loving even more the music ideas I’ve been having but have, until recently, had no idea how to set down. I played guitar with the Nualas for a year, and dreaded every time I pulled the strap over my shoulder. I was bad at it. Truly basic. We had to write songs based only around the chords I could play; many had only two. I would screw up even those, and when I didn’t, I wouldn’t remember the gig due to pure concentration and paralysis from fear. When I left the group, I sold the guitar, and although I’ve since bought a replacement, it languishes in the corner – the most annoying thing I have to dust. All those strings. That long neck. I wish I could play it but, in this case, practice does not make perfect; it makes substandard. Some things, we’re not made for. I’m not made for instruments.
However, today, I’ve been introduced to Band in a Box. It is computer music generation for idiots. You type in chords by their letters, add instrumentation and style at the touch of a button, and speed it up or transpose it with pluses and minuses. It even has a “Jazz-Up” function you can modify with “Jazz-Down”. You get the perfect amount of Jazz and you don’t even have to meet jazz-lovers. At the end of all that, it even picks a title if you simply can’t think of one.
Damian Coldwell showed me how to use it. It’s for idiots, so of course I needed a tutorial in it. He’s a great musician and a patient man, but he’s gone now. I’m on my own. Me and things I can mess up. Let’s see: when you sing, you begin with D’oh…
