I haven’t had hot water since Sunday. This has meant boiling a lot of kettles and staying stinky a lot longer than I would normally like. On the plus side, it’s been a great excuse to leave the washing up. But now there’s an accumulation of plates and cups so high and precarious that it [...]

If necessity is the mother of invention then, by Jiminy, I am about to have the mother of all ideas really, really soon. Out of my way, Tommy Edison:  suck my lightbulb, if you will. I need a really good idea. I think I’m about to do the Edinburgh Fringe again.

A youth pulled my hair the other day. A horrible, smug, arrogant youth. It was a bus queue: let’s call it bustling and vibrant. (I euphemise when I don’t want to admit fear.) What it really was was full of youths and a bit threatening. They were all talking Tween language, and walking up the [...]

On Friday, I didn’t get out of my pyjamas. I did brush my teeth and drag a comb through my hair, but sartorially, I left a lot to be desired. Actually, make that un-desired: I’m pretty sure the fiancé must have been having his doubts. I’m unemployed! It’s very stressful! I’m exclaiming out of stress! [...]

A few days ago, on Twitter, Rob Heeney put out a distress call. He was set to record his excellent Doubling Up podcast (check it out on iTunes), but his pod-partner, Nick Doody, was off gigging and skiing somewhere fancy. He asked if any North London comedians were around the next day. There weren’t any. [...]