I like the moon; it’s cool. I don’t think we should go messing with it. Nobody asked me if I wanted it messed with, or visited, or blown up, but NASA blew up a bit of it on Friday anyway.  I was very annoyed because it was fine the way it was. Everyone’s had their [...]

There’s a goblin in my house. That’s the only possible explanation for the fact that, at the moment, everything is going missing. I can’t put down a pen or a nail-file and hope to ever see it again. You’re going to tell me that I’m being careless or inattentive post filing or note-taking, but it [...]

We don’t use the word “naughty” in Ireland. We have a much better one: “bold”.  I vastly prefer its connotations of brassiness, even bravery. Naughty (which for me resonates of businessmen dressed as babies and people who can’t get wood unless there are corsets involved) gives me the creeps.

If I thought I’d get away with things, I’d be a lot more devious than I am. But I never do, so there’s no point thinking about it. Even at school, when we’d all try to stay indoors at lunchtime when it was cold, some nun would find me, standing on a toilet (no feet [...]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh! I had a dream last night that my mother was a serial-killer. Now, as far as I know, she’s not. But in the dream, she calmly recounted her various kills to me and my sister, showing us the hands she’d kept as trophies. Grueseome. Is this anything to do with the fact that the [...]